I’m loving the gratitude journal, even when I don’t feel like doing it.
Because when I don’t feel like doing it is when I NEED to be doing it the most. Its when I have to put aside my current state of mind and deliberately reach for gratitude and the feeling it brings, so I must consciously change my attitude. Today is one of those days.
Its not that I am in a bad mood or anything I rarely am. I’m just … tired, feeling kind of blah, and feeling like vegging out in front of the tv and watching the snow fall. Stepping out of myself for the moment, or even the day.
But instead, I am sitting here at my laptop and writing this. If I want to change the world, I have to keep slogging away at it, even when I would rather do something else. And inside, I know that after I do this, I WILL feel better, a little more lively, a little more lovely.
What am I grateful for TODAY? I’m grateful for the gray day and the snow that makes me want to curl up on the couch and relax. I’m grateful for coffee, and love, and the pastries we splurged on last night even though we are trying to lose weight. I’m grateful for the roof over my head, the heating bill we grumble about but that we need to be grateful for instead. Not everyone has a heating bill, and they are cold today.
And I am grateful still for the changes that I feel coming to me. I feel very pulled to start some kind of kindness initiative in the local schools here. I am all for prevention of bullying – but, I think while we DO need to teach children how to REACT to it, its MORE important to teach kindness and love in order to prevent it in the first place.
So I am thinking about what I could do to help schools accomplish that, and I am thinking about developing some kind of kindness program, with rewards and with goals, something the small kids can get into. I have one daughter (Selina, who posts here although right now her phone is down and her computer is too!) who is 19, but I have my two little kiddos and one “bonus” kiddo who are in elementary school still.
That’s where I want to start with this. I want to start by teaching the young ones, then move on to the older ones.
I’m not really sure what I am going to do, but I am working it out, and I am grateful for the motivation to do this and for the attitude I have. In my journey as an adult, its gone from “Why me?” to “Why NOT me?”. We each have a special gift to bring to Spirit, to bring to the world, whether or not the world is aware of it. And I keep asking the question of the universe “What is MY gift?” and this is the answer I am getting. Kindness. Change the world!
It makes me feel small sometimes – like, HOW can I (me? Really ME?) change the world? I am just one person. I’m not wealthy, I’m not perfect, and in my opinion, I do not measure up to the “Greats” like Mark Gafni, Mary Morrissey, Bob Proctor etc who really are changing the world.
Well, they are just people too. None of them started out being born to greatness. Not one of them walked on water, rose from the dead or levitated on live tv. I don’t even need greatness – I just need to see my mission through and do my job the best I can. And the best I can means getting out of my comfort zone and teaching, talking and spreading the word.
I have to be the best ME I can be. I am enough. I can do this. And I am grateful for being shown that.